1
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,532
Previously on Call Me Fitz.
2
00:00:28,655 --> 00:00:29,754
We've finally come together to
3
00:00:29,756 --> 00:00:31,915
give this baby a home.
4
00:00:32,035 --> 00:00:34,225
And exploit his
ass to sell cars.
5
00:00:34,227 --> 00:00:35,559
(giggles)
6
00:00:35,561 --> 00:00:38,729
Told you this family friendly
crap was an ass move.
7
00:00:38,731 --> 00:00:40,298
If the mom's won't
come to Fitzy,
8
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,666
Fitzy will come to the moms.
9
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,969
Richard Fitzpatrick,
President and CEO of
10
00:00:44,971 --> 00:00:46,570
Fitzpatrick Motors.
11
00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:47,705
Where the fuck
are all the cars?
12
00:00:47,707 --> 00:00:48,805
They were repossessed.
13
00:00:48,807 --> 00:00:50,374
I leave you alone for
3 fucking hours
14
00:00:50,376 --> 00:00:52,242
and you get us repoed
by a loan shark?
15
00:00:56,481 --> 00:00:57,947
Fuck.
16
00:00:57,949 --> 00:00:59,782
You want to make money to
get your dealership back?
17
00:00:59,784 --> 00:01:01,751
Here's how it's going to roll.
18
00:01:01,753 --> 00:01:02,986
Stogies?
19
00:01:02,988 --> 00:01:05,187
Gummy Worms?
20
00:01:05,189 --> 00:01:06,022
Bleach?!
21
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,423
A brothel scam.
22
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:12,694
Who wants some old spice?
23
00:01:12,696 --> 00:01:14,130
Just get us another
round of mommy juice
24
00:01:14,132 --> 00:01:16,965
would you sweetheart?
25
00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:20,801
On your marks, get set, go!
26
00:01:23,105 --> 00:01:24,372
We raked in almost seven large.
27
00:01:24,374 --> 00:01:26,207
Should be enough to
get our fleet back.
28
00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:28,776
Which I tucked away
in a place so shitty,
29
00:01:28,778 --> 00:01:31,479
no man dare ever look.
30
00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:33,148
Fuck.
31
00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:36,216
Someone stole the fucking baby.
32
00:01:40,655 --> 00:01:42,822
I've lost a ton of
shit in my day:
33
00:01:42,824 --> 00:01:48,895
deals, women, weeks,
elections, erections,
34
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:52,598
bodies, my train of thought...
35
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,435
What was I talking about?
36
00:01:55,437 --> 00:01:56,569
Richard!
37
00:01:56,571 --> 00:01:57,336
There you are.
38
00:01:57,338 --> 00:01:58,637
Stuff it, panty liner.
39
00:01:58,639 --> 00:02:00,339
I lost something,
I can't concentrate
40
00:02:00,341 --> 00:02:02,275
when you're whining.
41
00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:06,479
Losing is for losers.
42
00:02:06,481 --> 00:02:07,880
Half the crap
that goes missing,
43
00:02:07,882 --> 00:02:10,615
you never needed
in the first place.
44
00:02:10,617 --> 00:02:12,016
Right.
45
00:02:12,018 --> 00:02:13,085
Trousers are not the only thing
46
00:02:13,087 --> 00:02:14,486
you forgot, Mister.
47
00:02:14,488 --> 00:02:18,690
Just get my pants, dick magnet.
48
00:02:18,692 --> 00:02:22,694
Just remember that everything
lost can be replaced.
49
00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:25,429
If you can just remember what
the fuck it was...
50
00:02:25,431 --> 00:02:26,663
Hey, Richard.
51
00:02:26,665 --> 00:02:27,664
How about we play a
game of hotter colder
52
00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:28,932
to figure out the thing that
53
00:02:28,934 --> 00:02:29,967
you forgot?
54
00:02:29,969 --> 00:02:30,468
I forgot to punch
you in the throat?
55
00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:31,135
Cold.
56
00:02:31,137 --> 00:02:32,103
Very cold.
57
00:02:39,211 --> 00:02:40,176
Your son!
58
00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:45,715
You lost your baby son!
59
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,319
Oh, yeah.
60
00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:50,320
That.
61
00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:52,555
(
)
62
00:02:56,593 --> 00:03:02,697
Without you
I'd find my smile
63
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:07,936
Without you,
I'd'a won by a mile
64
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:14,108
Without you
Oh life would be so grand
65
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:18,912
Without you I'm half a man
66
00:03:18,914 --> 00:03:29,093
67
00:03:35,796 --> 00:03:36,796
A human being, Larry.
68
00:03:36,798 --> 00:03:38,031
Who the fuck loses that?
69
00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:39,832
I don't know that
I did, Richard.
70
00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:41,635
Of course you did.
71
00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:42,702
I am so sorry.
72
00:03:42,704 --> 00:03:44,436
That innocent
bundle of potential.
73
00:03:44,438 --> 00:03:46,505
Why, Larry, you monster.
74
00:03:46,507 --> 00:03:47,506
Will you focus, you retarded
75
00:03:47,508 --> 00:03:48,440
stripper pole.
76
00:03:48,442 --> 00:03:49,808
You're right.
77
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:50,576
You're right, let's breathe and
78
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:51,644
focus on the good here.
79
00:03:51,646 --> 00:03:52,911
You, you have a rosy shade of
80
00:03:52,913 --> 00:03:54,346
"fatherly" glow in your cheeks.
81
00:03:54,348 --> 00:03:55,648
Don't gay this up.
82
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:56,815
This is about
one thing -
83
00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:58,717
- Saving your perfect baby boy.
84
00:03:58,719 --> 00:04:00,251
- Fucking whoever
is messing with us.
85
00:04:00,253 --> 00:04:01,686
What's with all the
goddamned racket?
86
00:04:01,688 --> 00:04:03,421
Your mother's sleeping
off a quart.
87
00:04:03,423 --> 00:04:04,755
Numbnuts lost my kid.
88
00:04:04,757 --> 00:04:06,023
Jesus.
89
00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:08,226
A fucking human being, Larry?
90
00:04:08,228 --> 00:04:09,494
OK, listen up.
91
00:04:09,496 --> 00:04:10,728
Typical.
92
00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:11,929
Family meeting and
no one tells me.
93
00:04:11,931 --> 00:04:13,064
This is my house too, you know?
94
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:13,998
Shut the hole where the
95
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,132
retard noises come from.
96
00:04:15,134 --> 00:04:17,434
You are rubber and I am glue.
97
00:04:17,436 --> 00:04:18,302
Hey!
98
00:04:18,304 --> 00:04:19,035
Something, something,
99
00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:20,070
fuck off, Dick.
100
00:04:20,072 --> 00:04:21,004
Will you focus the fuck on what
101
00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:22,138
I'm saying.
102
00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:23,640
Our future is at stake here.
103
00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:26,109
The key to the fucking
Fitzpatrick legacy.
104
00:04:26,111 --> 00:04:28,011
You're right, sir,
and by golly we will
105
00:04:28,013 --> 00:04:31,515
get our rightful heir
and son of a Fitz back!
106
00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,718
I'm talking about
the dealership.
107
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,186
I don't care about the kid.
108
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,487
We lost Meghan for
two weeks once.
109
00:04:38,489 --> 00:04:40,256
Oh Daddy, you'll never lose me.
110
00:04:40,258 --> 00:04:41,257
See?
111
00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:42,358
Kids are like the herp.
112
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,493
They always come back.
113
00:04:46,063 --> 00:04:46,763
Now, gimme the dough from the
114
00:04:46,765 --> 00:04:47,897
brothel scam.
115
00:04:47,899 --> 00:04:48,598
I'll take care of
our debt and get
116
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,732
the dealership back.
117
00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:50,899
We'll worry about
the kid later.
118
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:51,767
Yeah, and do not fear!
119
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,401
Josh said he stashed the money
120
00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:54,970
in a safe place.
121
00:04:56,706 --> 00:04:58,406
(in unison) Fuck!!
122
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:00,876
Josh!
123
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,083
Where are you, Fitzpatrick?
124
00:05:13,822 --> 00:05:14,789
Aha!
125
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,764
You stashed the loot
up the kid's ass?
126
00:05:23,766 --> 00:05:25,732
Gross, no.
127
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:28,301
I put it in his diaper.
128
00:05:28,303 --> 00:05:29,502
It's perfect, right?
129
00:05:29,504 --> 00:05:30,403
Who's that little
guy gonna tell?
130
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:31,671
You lost the baby
and the money?
131
00:05:31,673 --> 00:05:33,573
I am ssss, so sorry.
132
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:36,976
How are we gonna pay
the loan back now,
133
00:05:36,978 --> 00:05:37,810
dick-clot?
134
00:05:37,812 --> 00:05:39,111
Wait!
135
00:05:39,113 --> 00:05:40,445
Dirty diapers!
136
00:05:42,149 --> 00:05:43,548
Yes!
137
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:45,384
Oh, oh God!
138
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:46,986
Oh no!
139
00:05:46,988 --> 00:05:51,991
(groans)
140
00:05:53,292 --> 00:05:55,126
Yeah, I changed
the kid's diaper
141
00:05:55,128 --> 00:05:58,263
late last night before
I stashed the cash.
142
00:05:58,265 --> 00:06:00,064
And you didn't think
to mention that?
143
00:06:00,066 --> 00:06:01,132
(laughs)
144
00:06:01,134 --> 00:06:02,066
Pack your shit and
hit the bricks.
145
00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:02,967
Wha-What did I do?!
146
00:06:02,969 --> 00:06:04,302
Useless Fuck!
147
00:06:05,704 --> 00:06:07,105
Jimmy and his guys are animals.
148
00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:08,106
If we don't come
up with that cash,
149
00:06:08,108 --> 00:06:09,239
we not going to make it
150
00:06:09,241 --> 00:06:10,274
to cocktail hour.
151
00:06:10,276 --> 00:06:11,975
Don't get your
panties in a knot.
152
00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:12,976
I'll take care of this.
153
00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:14,344
Just like I always do.
154
00:06:14,346 --> 00:06:15,578
Don't worry, sir.
155
00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:17,181
We'll find that poor,
defenseless Fitzlet.
156
00:06:17,183 --> 00:06:20,083
Or that child's name isn't...
157
00:06:21,485 --> 00:06:22,552
We should really
think of a name
158
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,087
for that child.
159
00:06:28,859 --> 00:06:29,792
Hey, fellas.
160
00:06:29,794 --> 00:06:30,592
The ah, dishes are done.
161
00:06:30,594 --> 00:06:31,660
Hey!
162
00:06:31,662 --> 00:06:32,795
You do not speak unless you are
163
00:06:32,797 --> 00:06:33,662
spoken to...
164
00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:34,197
whatever your name is.
165
00:06:34,199 --> 00:06:35,431
Bruce.
166
00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:36,665
I keep telling you, mate.
167
00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:37,867
What is he saying?
168
00:06:37,869 --> 00:06:38,734
I don't understand,
what he's saying?
169
00:06:38,736 --> 00:06:39,535
It is as if he has marbles
170
00:06:39,537 --> 00:06:40,869
in his mouth.
171
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:46,274
Now cousin,
as your elder -
172
00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:48,009
Ah, but I am your elder now.
173
00:06:48,011 --> 00:06:48,810
That is nonsense.
174
00:06:48,812 --> 00:06:49,911
Much-sense.
175
00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:52,480
Consult our
falsified passports.
176
00:06:52,482 --> 00:06:53,481
Fine.
177
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,222
Our passports.
178
00:07:01,224 --> 00:07:02,456
They're gone.
179
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,959
Somebody has stolen
our stolen identities!
180
00:07:04,961 --> 00:07:06,626
Bruce the Dishwasher.
181
00:07:06,628 --> 00:07:08,062
Oh. Because something
goes missing it must
182
00:07:08,064 --> 00:07:10,564
be our illegal alien laborer?
183
00:07:10,566 --> 00:07:12,999
Verrry interesting.
184
00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:15,534
Oh, can I help you fellow
185
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,871
North American citizen?
186
00:07:17,873 --> 00:07:19,172
We need to help each other.
187
00:07:19,174 --> 00:07:20,606
What do you mean, broseph?
188
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,175
You know.
189
00:07:22,177 --> 00:07:23,309
And you know what I know.
190
00:07:23,311 --> 00:07:24,777
And I know that.
191
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:25,778
Cousin.
192
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,582
The sickly, bleached guinea pig
193
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,284
is a prosecutor of the law.
194
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,418
Play along.
195
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,024
We will scratch your
back as much as
196
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,192
you would like.
197
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,094
A vigorous back scratching.
198
00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:46,163
We're both after
the same thing.
199
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,398
The illegal alien?
200
00:07:50,068 --> 00:07:51,835
Exactly.
201
00:07:51,837 --> 00:07:53,704
If you see him or
anyone like him -
202
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,873
or anyone named
Fitzpatrick -
203
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,441
then you telecommunicate
with me.
204
00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:59,010
I'll do the same.
205
00:08:00,478 --> 00:08:03,914
Here's my numeric sequence.
206
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:07,017
It's been a pleasure,
gentlemen.
207
00:08:08,786 --> 00:08:10,720
At last, a white devil
208
00:08:10,722 --> 00:08:12,455
that talks sense.
209
00:08:12,457 --> 00:08:34,943
(
)
210
00:08:34,945 --> 00:08:36,044
Devon.
211
00:08:36,046 --> 00:08:37,111
Ali.
212
00:08:37,113 --> 00:08:38,279
It's Fitz.
213
00:08:38,281 --> 00:08:39,380
Look, I'm just uh, checking in.
214
00:08:39,382 --> 00:08:43,750
About - uh - you know -
parenting stuff.
215
00:08:43,752 --> 00:08:45,185
Look call me.
216
00:08:45,187 --> 00:08:46,153
Now.
217
00:08:47,322 --> 00:08:48,688
Where the hell is she?
218
00:08:50,091 --> 00:08:52,725
Really Larry,
a lost baby poster!
219
00:08:52,727 --> 00:08:54,094
What the hell are you thinking?
220
00:08:54,096 --> 00:08:56,229
Uh, about finding
the lost baby?
221
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,397
Competition finds out
you lost the kid,
222
00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:00,399
our family angle
is in the shitter;
223
00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:01,567
and Devon - I'll
never hear the end of it
224
00:09:01,569 --> 00:09:02,935
from that broad.
225
00:09:02,937 --> 00:09:04,837
Yeah, she might be
upset that we misplaced
226
00:09:04,839 --> 00:09:05,771
her child.
227
00:09:05,773 --> 00:09:07,073
That she abandoned.
228
00:09:07,075 --> 00:09:08,140
Who'd want to take a kid?
229
00:09:08,142 --> 00:09:10,509
Well, most kidnappings
are perpetrated by
230
00:09:10,511 --> 00:09:12,244
someone known to the victim.
231
00:09:12,246 --> 00:09:13,847
Be it wives, ex-wives,
jealous lovers...
232
00:09:13,848 --> 00:09:15,746
He's three months old.
233
00:09:15,748 --> 00:09:17,215
Well, we know that your
family doesn't want him.
234
00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:19,050
And the only other
place you take him
235
00:09:19,052 --> 00:09:20,285
is to that bar.
236
00:09:20,287 --> 00:09:21,386
Hawking the baby on
the black market was
237
00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:22,454
the Ruptals' idea.
238
00:09:22,456 --> 00:09:23,621
Fuck, Larry.
239
00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:26,992
It's those carpet
bombing mother-fucks.
240
00:09:26,994 --> 00:09:28,460
You're welcome.
241
00:09:28,462 --> 00:09:31,128
(vacuum)
242
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,568
Why is everything so clean?
243
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:41,671
Since when do we have a vacuum?
244
00:09:47,011 --> 00:09:50,046
Where the fuck is
my yogilates mat?
245
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:50,880
(gasp)
246
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,982
What. The.
247
00:09:52,984 --> 00:09:53,949
Da-dee!!
248
00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:56,752
What is it now?
249
00:09:56,754 --> 00:09:57,686
You know how long
it takes me to
250
00:09:57,688 --> 00:09:58,921
squeeze out a piss these days?
251
00:09:58,923 --> 00:10:00,123
There was a vacuum there.
252
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,391
And now there's not.
253
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,759
And look, someone cleaned.
254
00:10:10,466 --> 00:10:12,634
Fuck. It's the gay mob
all over again.
255
00:10:12,636 --> 00:10:14,903
The mob does floors?
256
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:15,870
It's a warning From Jimmy and
257
00:10:15,872 --> 00:10:16,971
his goons.
258
00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:18,173
If they don't get that scratch,
259
00:10:18,174 --> 00:10:20,741
it's gonna be a
fight to remember.
260
00:10:20,743 --> 00:10:22,543
Just like the good old days.
261
00:10:22,545 --> 00:10:23,477
Wait, what?
262
00:10:23,479 --> 00:10:24,311
They were in the house?
263
00:10:24,313 --> 00:10:25,646
Goons?
264
00:10:25,648 --> 00:10:27,281
They might hurt me.
265
00:10:27,283 --> 00:10:28,949
They might even rape me!
266
00:10:28,951 --> 00:10:32,486
They don't hire
blind goons, moron.
267
00:10:34,422 --> 00:10:35,888
Ok, so what's the plan.
268
00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:36,989
Am I playing respectful cop or
269
00:10:36,991 --> 00:10:38,091
understanding cop?
270
00:10:38,093 --> 00:10:39,059
Should we just grab
the baby and run,
271
00:10:39,061 --> 00:10:40,593
or should we get
an appetizer first?
272
00:10:40,595 --> 00:10:42,195
What the fuck?
273
00:10:42,197 --> 00:10:45,331
Limpdick. I
should have known.
274
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,632
Ahoy-hoy,
gentlemen.
275
00:10:46,634 --> 00:10:49,536
Tis I, your fearless captain.
276
00:10:49,538 --> 00:10:51,403
Of the S.S. Batshit?
277
00:10:51,405 --> 00:10:53,505
Very droll, earthling,
but it is dreams
278
00:10:53,507 --> 00:10:55,174
which fill this vessel's sails
279
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,942
as it tacks among the stars.
280
00:10:56,944 --> 00:10:58,310
You fucking nut bar.
281
00:10:58,312 --> 00:10:59,378
You were always obsessed with
282
00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:00,345
that kid.
283
00:11:00,347 --> 00:11:01,680
Gimme my son!
284
00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:04,583
You lost the
communications device?
285
00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:05,884
Pardon me.
286
00:11:05,886 --> 00:11:07,185
You probably know it
better by its Earth name.
287
00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:08,586
Your bay-bee.
288
00:11:08,588 --> 00:11:10,154
I need it to reestablish
a link to the aliens
289
00:11:10,156 --> 00:11:12,390
to let them know I'm
ready for pickup.
290
00:11:12,392 --> 00:11:13,891
Open the short bus
or I'll do it
291
00:11:13,893 --> 00:11:15,025
with what's left of
your fucking head.
292
00:11:15,027 --> 00:11:16,327
Yeah, hang on, Baby!
293
00:11:16,329 --> 00:11:18,129
Uncle Larry's coming!
294
00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:22,132
Oh wow!
295
00:11:22,134 --> 00:11:24,867
That is a lot of crazy...
296
00:11:24,869 --> 00:11:26,169
Ali Devon?!
297
00:11:26,171 --> 00:11:27,204
Oh hi Larry.
298
00:11:27,206 --> 00:11:28,371
You let him kidnap you too?
299
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:30,207
Quick question fellas.
300
00:11:30,209 --> 00:11:31,341
On a scale from
three to seventeen,
301
00:11:31,343 --> 00:11:33,410
how much does a taser hurt?
302
00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:35,112
(zap)
303
00:11:35,114 --> 00:11:36,079
Awwww!
304
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,489
The wheels on the
kidnapper's van
305
00:11:46,491 --> 00:11:47,490
don't go round and round cause
306
00:11:47,492 --> 00:11:48,624
spaceships don't have wheels,
307
00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:50,326
they have hover fields,
308
00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:52,461
all the live long day.
309
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,795
Everybody -
310
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,397
Pssst.
311
00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:58,733
Hey, don't worry.
312
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:00,968
For a brain-damaged
psychopath,
313
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,271
he's actually pretty nice,
314
00:12:03,273 --> 00:12:04,372
well except for the whole...
315
00:12:04,374 --> 00:12:05,473
kidnapping thing.
316
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:09,043
Wow, you're
full-on Stockholm.
317
00:12:10,545 --> 00:12:11,745
Could be.
318
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:14,781
It has been a while
since I've seen daylight.
319
00:12:14,783 --> 00:12:16,483
And I'm happy to see you,
320
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,185
which makes zero sense.
321
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,887
It makes perfect sense.
322
00:12:20,889 --> 00:12:22,589
He can lead us to the
323
00:12:22,591 --> 00:12:23,723
communication device.
324
00:12:23,725 --> 00:12:25,259
Your bay-bee.
325
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:25,792
Fuck.
326
00:12:25,794 --> 00:12:27,360
So, Chester.
327
00:12:27,362 --> 00:12:29,295
How exactly do you
communicate with
328
00:12:29,297 --> 00:12:33,299
the aliens via a little baby?
329
00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:34,733
That's crazy talk.
330
00:12:34,735 --> 00:12:36,669
Aliens communicate
by sending messages
331
00:12:36,671 --> 00:12:38,371
in DNA protein.
332
00:12:38,373 --> 00:12:40,673
The baby is just
a homing beacon.
333
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,440
Uh huh.
334
00:12:42,442 --> 00:12:43,441
Right.
335
00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:45,343
What the fuck?
336
00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:46,878
While we're on the subject,
337
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,112
Richard has really
turned the corner
338
00:12:48,114 --> 00:12:50,415
and he is one
heck of a dad now.
339
00:12:52,318 --> 00:12:56,221
Oh, wow that is
so nice to hear.
340
00:12:56,223 --> 00:12:58,689
I mean that's why I
left our son with him.
341
00:12:58,691 --> 00:13:00,491
Sure I was on a downward spiral
342
00:13:00,493 --> 00:13:03,460
of self-loathing and
crippling postpartum
343
00:13:03,462 --> 00:13:05,296
depression but I always knew
344
00:13:05,298 --> 00:13:08,699
that Fitz would grow
into becoming a father.
345
00:13:08,701 --> 00:13:10,401
Don't say anything
about your dick.
346
00:13:10,403 --> 00:13:12,236
Fine then you say
something about it...
347
00:13:12,238 --> 00:13:14,071
Or better yet,
do something about it.
348
00:13:14,073 --> 00:13:15,438
It is right here.
349
00:13:20,444 --> 00:13:21,977
A-hem.
350
00:13:21,979 --> 00:13:23,813
How about we control
our baser urges
351
00:13:23,815 --> 00:13:25,615
in front of Larry
and focus on finding
352
00:13:25,617 --> 00:13:27,283
the lost baby.
353
00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:30,452
Lost baby?
354
00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:32,954
Our baby?
355
00:13:34,957 --> 00:13:36,558
Not lost.
356
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,560
We think someone took him.
357
00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:39,528
Hello?
358
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,364
If anything happens to my baby,
359
00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:46,201
I will fucking kill you!
360
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,572
Quit fighting or,
so help me Zorth,
361
00:13:51,574 --> 00:13:52,840
I will turn this
spaceship around
362
00:13:52,842 --> 00:13:54,141
and drive us off a cliff.
363
00:13:54,143 --> 00:13:55,443
Just kidding.
364
00:13:55,445 --> 00:13:56,410
Maybe.
365
00:13:58,247 --> 00:13:59,213
That's it!
366
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:07,086
Work your body,
work your body bitch ow!
367
00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:21,600
Motherfucker!
368
00:14:21,602 --> 00:14:24,903
Who the fuck took
my anal bleach?
369
00:14:29,609 --> 00:14:31,243
I can't believe it.
370
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,210
(gasp)
371
00:14:39,885 --> 00:14:41,786
Aghhhh!
372
00:14:41,788 --> 00:14:43,053
Jimmy.
373
00:14:43,055 --> 00:14:44,522
What the fuck?
374
00:14:44,524 --> 00:14:46,123
Where's my threatening call?
375
00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:46,691
I've been waiting all day.
376
00:14:46,693 --> 00:14:47,792
Aw, sorry, Ken.
377
00:14:47,794 --> 00:14:49,627
Was I supposed to
shake you down?
378
00:14:49,629 --> 00:14:51,361
And lay off the Molly Maid
warning schtick.
379
00:14:51,363 --> 00:14:52,696
I'm good for the cash.
380
00:14:52,698 --> 00:14:54,331
I didn't send anyone.
381
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:57,168
Rico's in for varicose
vein treatment all week.
382
00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,568
I'll get to it.
383
00:14:58,570 --> 00:15:01,172
It's time we meet
face to face, fucktard,
384
00:15:01,174 --> 00:15:04,308
and I better pay up
by tonight, or else.
385
00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:05,575
Come on, show some
goddamn respect
386
00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:07,110
for your craft.
387
00:15:08,412 --> 00:15:10,046
I saw something in
the bathroom, Daddy.
388
00:15:10,048 --> 00:15:12,648
Someone was in there.
389
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,750
Showtime!
Ha ha ha ha!
390
00:15:19,556 --> 00:15:22,258
Right on time.
391
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,826
Now you sit tight
while I go find
392
00:15:23,828 --> 00:15:25,093
the baby-beacon.
393
00:15:25,095 --> 00:15:26,228
Then why do you need us?
394
00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:27,196
I don't.
395
00:15:28,364 --> 00:15:29,664
Except Ali.
396
00:15:29,666 --> 00:15:32,835
Who's to become
my celestial bride.
397
00:15:32,837 --> 00:15:34,269
Either that or they'll turn her
398
00:15:34,271 --> 00:15:35,470
into a coat.
399
00:15:35,472 --> 00:15:36,238
The overlords weren't
a hundred per cent
400
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,472
clear on that.
401
00:15:37,474 --> 00:15:39,006
Oh Chester.
402
00:15:39,008 --> 00:15:40,641
There's something
I have to tell you.
403
00:15:40,643 --> 00:15:41,976
I am an alien.
404
00:15:44,446 --> 00:15:48,983
And I have hid the
key to the spaceship.
405
00:15:52,254 --> 00:15:53,721
I knew there was something
406
00:15:53,723 --> 00:15:54,822
off about you...
407
00:15:54,824 --> 00:15:56,389
You're a liar!
408
00:15:56,391 --> 00:15:58,058
Aliens don't use keys.
409
00:15:58,060 --> 00:16:00,660
They unlock things
with star fruit.
410
00:16:00,662 --> 00:16:01,862
Right. Right.
411
00:16:01,864 --> 00:16:02,695
Of course.
412
00:16:02,697 --> 00:16:04,364
Of course uh...
413
00:16:04,366 --> 00:16:07,968
You have passed
my test, earthling
414
00:16:07,970 --> 00:16:10,070
and have proven
you are worthy to
415
00:16:10,072 --> 00:16:13,205
traipse among the stars.
416
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:15,707
You don't need a kid
to signal the ship.
417
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:18,410
You can use a signal fire.
418
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:24,850
Scratch that.
419
00:16:24,852 --> 00:16:26,852
You're a horrible liar.
420
00:16:26,854 --> 00:16:29,387
But it's not a bad idea...
421
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:32,857
Are you fucking kidding me,
422
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,192
a signal fire?
423
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,495
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
424
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:41,065
A warehouse inferno
will make an
425
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,233
excellent signal fire.
426
00:16:48,373 --> 00:16:49,940
(groans)
427
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:50,908
Sorry.
428
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,476
What's that smell?
429
00:16:53,478 --> 00:16:55,445
It's gasoline,
taint-licker.
430
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:56,813
Any final requests?
431
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:57,680
Sinatra?
432
00:16:57,682 --> 00:16:58,748
(phone rings)
433
00:16:58,750 --> 00:16:59,990
Well, can can I
answer my phone?
434
00:17:02,886 --> 00:17:05,321
I can't trust you to do that.
435
00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:07,023
Ahoy-hoy.
436
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:11,193
Come to fifteen-fifteen
Commercial Avenue.
437
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:17,498
Did you hear that?
438
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:22,304
You sit tight and I'll
be back real soon, okay?
439
00:17:22,306 --> 00:17:24,172
Toodles.
440
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:27,508
Um, aren't I your
celestial bride?
441
00:17:28,544 --> 00:17:31,645
Oh silly,
you can't burn a star.
442
00:17:35,984 --> 00:17:37,918
(maniacal laughter)
443
00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:54,434
Well that was close.
444
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:01,640
Fuck!
445
00:18:01,642 --> 00:18:05,043
Gotcha, you creepy,
peepy, fuck!
446
00:18:05,045 --> 00:18:06,011
Now!
447
00:18:07,746 --> 00:18:09,881
Hands Up!
448
00:18:09,883 --> 00:18:11,749
Ah! Don't shoot!
449
00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:13,185
Woah!
450
00:18:13,187 --> 00:18:15,020
You're not the fucking mob.
451
00:18:15,022 --> 00:18:16,421
I'm sorry Mr. F.
452
00:18:16,423 --> 00:18:18,890
You said I was useless
and then I got stoned,
453
00:18:18,892 --> 00:18:21,192
and then I started dusting...
454
00:18:21,194 --> 00:18:22,961
and now I can't stop
every time I smoke a bowl.
455
00:18:22,963 --> 00:18:25,229
You sick fuck.
456
00:18:25,231 --> 00:18:26,397
I know.
457
00:18:26,399 --> 00:18:27,365
I'm cleaning the fucking grout
458
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,399
between tiles, man.
459
00:18:28,401 --> 00:18:29,767
You gotta help me.
460
00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:31,402
I've been hiding in here
taking naps so I can
461
00:18:31,404 --> 00:18:32,770
clean around the clock.
462
00:18:32,772 --> 00:18:34,238
Do something, Daddy.
463
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,273
Get your shit out of here.
464
00:18:36,275 --> 00:18:37,008
Of course sir.
465
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,077
Not you, her.
466
00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:41,479
He's taking your room.
467
00:18:41,481 --> 00:18:42,446
What?!
468
00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:43,780
You can't do that.
469
00:18:43,782 --> 00:18:44,515
At least the hippie
fuck pulls his
470
00:18:44,517 --> 00:18:46,650
weight around here.
471
00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:47,083
(gasps)
472
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,451
What.
473
00:18:49,787 --> 00:18:50,487
You wanna be roomies?
474
00:18:50,489 --> 00:18:51,755
Don't touch me!
475
00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:56,727
Oh, just a little to the left.
476
00:18:56,729 --> 00:18:57,794
Oh yeah!
477
00:18:57,796 --> 00:18:59,428
Richard, now is not the time!
478
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,764
If I get through this rope,
479
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:02,565
I'm going to chew it off
480
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,066
and make you choke on it.
481
00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:05,868
Don't you gang up on me.
482
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,503
Piss!
483
00:19:07,505 --> 00:19:08,370
What'd you run out of insults?
484
00:19:08,372 --> 00:19:09,906
No, Larry, piss.
485
00:19:09,908 --> 00:19:10,773
On the fire.
486
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:11,674
Buy us some time.
487
00:19:11,676 --> 00:19:12,742
Richard, I could never.
488
00:19:12,744 --> 00:19:13,509
In front of a lady?
489
00:19:13,511 --> 00:19:14,609
Oh right.
490
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:15,644
Because letting me
burn to death would be
491
00:19:15,646 --> 00:19:16,912
the gentlemanly thing to do?
492
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:17,913
Fine.
493
00:19:23,185 --> 00:19:24,853
I hate urinating on demand.
494
00:19:24,855 --> 00:19:26,988
Piss, you little bitch, piss!
495
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:28,122
Oh I never.
496
00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:41,869
So much fire, so little pee.
497
00:19:41,871 --> 00:19:43,503
Just put it in your pants.
498
00:19:43,505 --> 00:19:44,672
Hey wait up.
499
00:19:44,674 --> 00:19:46,373
Thanks Larry,
middle of fucking nowhere.
500
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,540
What if they hurt him?
501
00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:50,142
I swear to God Fitz,
if there is one scratch
502
00:19:50,144 --> 00:19:51,410
on that baby -
503
00:19:51,412 --> 00:19:53,613
Ali, believe me,
Richard cares about
504
00:19:53,615 --> 00:19:54,647
that baby just as
much as you do.
505
00:19:54,649 --> 00:19:55,715
Yeah.
506
00:19:55,717 --> 00:19:57,249
Little fucker stole my money.
507
00:19:57,251 --> 00:19:59,151
I need it to buy
the dealership back.
508
00:19:59,153 --> 00:20:00,687
You see?
509
00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:01,788
He doesn't give a shit about
510
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:04,022
anyone but himself.
511
00:20:04,024 --> 00:20:05,958
You know I have been
down this road before
512
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,226
and look where it got me.
513
00:20:08,228 --> 00:20:08,927
Miss Devon.
514
00:20:08,929 --> 00:20:09,928
Wait.
515
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:11,129
I think Richard's
acting up because
516
00:20:11,131 --> 00:20:12,998
he feels abandoned
by his mother,
517
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,566
his father, his son.
518
00:20:14,568 --> 00:20:16,267
And now you leaving
makes it worse.
519
00:20:16,269 --> 00:20:19,604
Yeah, yeah what he said.
520
00:20:19,606 --> 00:20:21,639
Are you kidding?
521
00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:23,074
You wanna know why everyone
522
00:20:23,076 --> 00:20:24,609
abandons you, Fitz?
523
00:20:24,611 --> 00:20:27,344
Because you deserve it.
524
00:20:27,346 --> 00:20:28,646
You want to know how this ends?
525
00:20:28,648 --> 00:20:30,881
Listen close you fuck 'cause
here's the punch line.
526
00:20:30,883 --> 00:20:32,783
Your liver gives out,
your father's heart
527
00:20:32,785 --> 00:20:35,218
finally implodes
and no one takes over
528
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:38,254
your low-rent dealership
when your cold rotting
529
00:20:38,256 --> 00:20:40,757
carcasses hit the ground.
530
00:20:44,962 --> 00:20:46,562
Reckon you could
all use a lift?
531
00:20:46,564 --> 00:20:47,897
Name's Bruce.
532
00:20:53,604 --> 00:20:58,474
1515 Commercial Avenue please.
533
00:21:04,515 --> 00:21:06,649
I have located
the missing alien.
534
00:21:06,651 --> 00:21:08,650
He's at 1515 Commercial Avenue.
535
00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:11,786
Do not approach the beacon.
536
00:21:11,788 --> 00:21:16,158
Only I can decode
the Master's protein-DNA.
537
00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:19,361
The one sane white devil has
538
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:20,428
stopped making sense.
539
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:22,597
But, cousin?!
540
00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:24,931
We may have located Bruce.
541
00:21:24,933 --> 00:21:26,066
And our passports?
542
00:21:26,068 --> 00:21:28,035
We'll soon find out.
543
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:46,553
(
)
544
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:51,524
Time to find out whose
fucking with my dealership.
545
00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:01,866
Where the fuck is Jimmy?
546
00:22:01,868 --> 00:22:03,134
Who's asking?
547
00:22:03,136 --> 00:22:05,136
Ken fucking Fitzpatrick.
548
00:22:05,138 --> 00:22:06,505
Don't hurt me.
549
00:22:08,107 --> 00:22:09,741
You're Jimmy?
550
00:22:09,743 --> 00:22:11,310
What kind of fucking
muscle are you?
551
00:22:11,312 --> 00:22:12,944
I'm not.
552
00:22:12,946 --> 00:22:14,478
My nana says I'm skinny fat.
553
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:15,714
Where are the leg breakers?
554
00:22:15,716 --> 00:22:17,682
The knee cappers?
555
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:19,084
Am I speaking Mexican?
556
00:22:19,086 --> 00:22:20,484
It wasn't even my money.
557
00:22:20,486 --> 00:22:23,454
Some guy he hired me
to loan you that cash.
558
00:22:23,456 --> 00:22:25,223
Said he didn't
even want it back.
559
00:22:25,225 --> 00:22:27,058
Who?
560
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:28,992
Who motherfucker?!
561
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,340
Master, is it you?
562
00:22:44,342 --> 00:22:45,775
What is this chicanery?
563
00:22:45,777 --> 00:22:47,343
Where is Bruce?!
564
00:22:59,756 --> 00:23:00,922
Is that?
565
00:23:00,924 --> 00:23:01,923
Bruce.
566
00:23:01,925 --> 00:23:02,824
Where is my pipe bomb?
567
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:03,792
Glove box.
568
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:11,767
Our passports.
569
00:23:11,769 --> 00:23:13,301
Cousin!
570
00:23:13,303 --> 00:23:15,237
We have made a grievous error.
571
00:23:15,239 --> 00:23:17,238
Racial profiling does
solve everything!
572
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,974
We have found our passports!
573
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:23,577
Open up!
574
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:36,856
Deliver your protein message
575
00:23:36,858 --> 00:23:38,691
to me, leader.
576
00:23:38,693 --> 00:23:39,592
I'm ready.
577
00:23:59,645 --> 00:24:03,215
Sorry for all the
cloak and dagger.
578
00:24:03,217 --> 00:24:06,951
Wanted to avoid any
unnecessary press.
579
00:24:11,489 --> 00:24:13,291
Yuri.
580
00:24:13,293 --> 00:24:15,827
Special special Assistant.
581
00:24:17,095 --> 00:24:19,163
To who?
582
00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:20,663
Whom.
583
00:24:20,665 --> 00:24:21,631
Ahh.
584
00:24:30,308 --> 00:24:32,442
(bay gurgles happily)
585
00:24:35,246 --> 00:24:36,345
The beacon!
586
00:24:39,282 --> 00:24:40,682
(baby cries)
587
00:24:40,684 --> 00:24:42,251
Give me back my kid.
588
00:24:42,253 --> 00:24:43,853
It's ok, honey.
589
00:24:43,855 --> 00:24:45,187
Mommy's here!
590
00:24:52,862 --> 00:24:54,963
Who the fuck are you?
591
00:25:07,376 --> 00:25:10,492
Nooooooooooo!
592
00:25:12,026 --> 00:25:22,877
593
00:25:22,927 --> 00:25:27,477
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0